DATE: May 9, 1888

TIME: High Noon

THE COWBOY PRINTER DAILY

Your Trusted Source for News, Views, and Frontier Hues from the Alt. CyberWest

"The sun ariseth, and goes where she chose, and hasteneth to the place where she arose... but the news, when it's all quite done, waits for none, like a loaded gun."

Click "Generate Tomorrow's News" to begin

FRONTIER FUNNIES: TIC-TAC-TOE

Player X's Turn

~ CLASSIFIEDS ~

FOR SALE: 9-Barrel Handgun. Impressive conversation starter. Note: All barrels fire simultaneously. Excellent for crowd control or accidentally shooting your horse. Inquire at Neo-Dodge Saloon. Ask for 'Glitch'.
HELP WANTED: Trail Boss & Drovers needed for trans-dimensional holographic cattle drive. Must be resistant to data-stampedes and crypto-rustlers. Payment in verifiable cattle-coin. Serious applicants only.
SEEKING ADVENTURE: Two brave souls seeking passage to the Klondike Gold Fields. Have our own gear and a faulty map. Willing to trade quantum computing skills for safe passage and a warm meal.
LOST: One temporal displacement key, looks like a brass pocket watch. If found, DO NOT wind it. Last seen somewhere between yesterday and next Tuesday. Sentimental value. Reward offered.
POEM-FOR-HIRE: Need a sonnet for your sweetheart or a limerick for your rival? Cogsworth the Poetic Automaton offers bespoke verses for any occasion. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back (in 1s and 0s).
FOR RENT: Cozy one-room server rack with excellent uptime. Minimal data storms. Perfect for a bachelor automaton or a starting-out AI. Low latency to the Data Depot.