HAVE YOU SEEN THIS SHIP?
Ship Image
Reward for information leading to recovery of the SS Cryptonia
REPORT SIGHTINGPIRATE CLASSIFIEDS
FOR SALE: Gently used asteroid mining drone. Excellent condition, 3TB storage. Accepting ETH or BTC.
CREW WANTED: Experienced navigator for deep space crypto mining expedition. Generous profit-sharing in Dogecoin.
LOST: Quantum encryption key. Looks like a glowing crystal. Reward: 0.5 BTC. Contact Nova at Cantankerous Frank's.
SERVICES: Satellite hacking specialist. Can redirect comms, override security. Discretion guaranteed.
REPAIRS: Broken mining rig? I fix GPUs, quantum processors, and solar arrays. Fair prices, fast service.
WARNING: Beward of EarthGov patrols near Mars orbit. They're confiscating mining rigs. Stay decentralized!
SPACE PIRATE OBITUARIES
CAPTAIN ZEPHYR "ZIPLINE" ZHANG
Lost during spacewalk when tether failed near Jupiter orbit. Body not recovered.
ENGINEER BOOSTER ROCKET BETTY
Miscalculated orbital trajectory during crypto transfer. Now part of the asteroid belt.
ROBOT RUFUS McCool
Short-circuited during solar flare while mining Bitcoin. Survived by his robotic cat.